| Each of you has
an entire repetoire of what you consider to be emotions.
In truth, what your emotions do for you is give to you a
sense of belonging. They are the example of
participation. They are what is left over after
participation has been. On one side, when participation is
inappropriate in terms of being a participant with what
you actually intend to create, you feel a sense of
painful emotions, a lack of joy. On the other, when the
actions you have taken have been a participant toward
what you chose to create, you gain joy.
Between absolute
joy and absolute lack of joy, lives your life. What
governs what you take of that is your element of
participation. If you participate in ways that, for you
are not necessarily impeccable, as if you would try to
manipulate or try to get a particular picture in a three
dimensional reality, you very often get distracted from
that point of participation that can bring you the
greatest joy. So we will play a little bit with that.
If you consider
when you learn something, you don't learn that particular
thing all in itself. You learn it in reference to
everything else that you have exampled to yourself
throughout your life. It becomes one piece of something
much larger your life experiences.
Those life
experiences are filtered through what you believe to be
reality. Unfortunately, reality does not exist for you.
Reality is a simple construct that allows you to go to
the next day and allows you to remember yesterday.
Reality does not actually function if you are in the now.
What functions is exploration.
But these things
get remembered inside of you and when it is time to use
them the entire emotional meaning comes at you. The
entire emotional meaning. Some little thing occurs in
your life, you observe it in a particular way, and that
observance brings up every time that you have ever felt
it and suddenly you find yourself in a sense of rage. A
sense of anger that you can't actually understand where
it came from. It is completely out of proportion to the
reality of your life, you don't know why that is, and you
feel out of control.
Or sometimes you
won't actually know why, but you are exceedingly happy
and you look upon your life and you don't understand why
you are so happy. Everything is going bad, but suddenly
you are happy. Something has occurred that relates to
everything else, through the filter of yourself, you have
interpreted it.
I will give you a
little hint. Emotion is the result of how you filter
things. It is not something that someone else can make
you do. It is not something that you are forced into. It
is the result of how you filter.
You say, `I love
you', as if that is an emotion. In truth, most of the
time, the word love is not a noun, it is a verb. It is
something you do to someone else. You love them,
therefore that should justify whatever else you are going
to do. You care for them so you get to have from them.
When you see
things through that particular set of filters, you make
yourself a victim of that same filter set. You make
yourself a victim of that concept that says that person
makes me happy, therefore that person makes me sad if
they aren't making me happy. That becomes your filter.
Very often you do this at a very early age, and that
early age sets a construction for yourself. Not a
construction of reality, but of belief.
You learn this
before you are five years of age and it is forced upon
you. Everything that you learned before five years of
age, before the pituitary shifts, is pure emotion. Pure
emotion, and purely emotional. That is a most wonderous
thought, is it not?
You learned to
walk because of emotion, not because of the physical
reality. That emotion took upon itself certain aspects
that you would learn to walk because you feared if you
didn't learn to walk, you would lose. A small piece of
that lived within it, and you learned how to interpret
physical reality into a fear and the fear into an
emotion.
You didn't see it
as a fear, it only became a fear after the shift. And
that turns this set of events into something that is very
powerful in your life.
Question:
The emotion you learn by, is that learned by emotions
outside of you for the child under five years of age?
You only learn by
emotions outside of you. Nothing you took in was yours.
Nothing. In truth, you were a victim of every emotion of
everyone around you. Now, what does that mean that you
are a victim?
If you are a
victim, you have a concept that you can't change it, you
can't get away from it, you can't escape it, you can't do
anything about it. That is what being a victim is. And in
truth, the child before five years of age, couldn't do
anything about it. It could not escape it because it knew
not where to go, and even if it did it couldn't have
survived. It cannot escape it because it had no
understanding of what to shut out and what to keep. It
could not get away from it in any way so it had to take
it in.
But after that
point, if you continue being the victim of those
emotions, when you have the ability to discern the
difference between yourself and someone else, if you
continued on that path, that became even more victimizing
but it was because of you, not anything else.
It is a most
wonderous thought, is it not, that after the age of five,
you as a physical human being have the capacity to not be
a victim of your parents emotion, of your school, of your
friends, of anything but to be a participant.
But in your
society you are not taught to do that. You're taught to
go from one kind of victim to a different kind of victim.
One that says if you don't, you will lose. If you don't
you will do it wrong. If you don't do it this way, then
this will happen to you. You then became a victim of
cause and effect. Not because you were actually a victim,
but because you didn't know any different.
You learned how
to interpret emotion into fear and how to interpret fear
into emotions. So then you turned into some one who was
capable of taking information that was not intrinsically
a physically damaging or threatening environment, and
interpreted a threat from it.
In truth, what do
you have that are actual physical threats to you today?
As you, the adult, what is actually a physical threat?
Cars? Driving? So what do you do? Be careful, or don't
drive at all. What would happen if you didn't drive? You
are afraid if you don't drive from place to place, you
will somehow lose. It doesn't easily occur to you to find
some place to live where you don't have to drive, where
you could get around without having to drive. Again, you
interpret it.
What else? You
feel you may lose your job. While there is a necessity
for you to participate within your job, it isn't the job
that is going to hurt you if you don't do it. What is
going to hurt you is not having the income and that isn't
actually going to hurt you until you begin to get hungry.
But you interpret it.
So you go to work
each day with the thought process and an emotion of fear.
An emotional fear. Not an actual physical threat fear,
but an emotional fear, a projection of fear. And it
freezes you sometimes. It takes you to the place where
you can't actually participate in it. By interpreting
fear into your emotions, you learned how to lock onto
those and start making, as a basis of some of your
emotional realities, an intrinsic physical fear that ties
things together from that fear point. It also means that
when you experience something that reminds you of this it
is going to remind you of the fear also.
When it reminds
you of the fear, you are going to become reactive towards
whatever that fear says to be. It is going to be an
emotional reaction. You will react to an emotional fear
exactly the same as you would react to a physical fear,
with the same speed of protection, with the same
irrational understanding. You will seek fight or flight
from an emotional fear, because your unconscious mind
doesn't know the difference.
This part of you
that generates the emotions of you lives so deeply
ingrained inside of you, at such a low level of your self
awareness, that you can't touch it easily, and when you
do you shy away from it very fast.
Audience:
I'm thinking about my own life as a small boy before the
age of five that interpreted myself being abandoned. Is
it because it was before five years that its so difficult
to escape from?
Yes. But the form
you can use to escape from it is a creative accusation
that everything in the past is a lie for now. Everything.
Every emotion that you learned was only so you could
learn a different emotion later, not because it was the
truth but because it gave you just enough truth to make
you search for your own. Not because it was reality, but
because it was just close enough to an acceptable reality
that it caused you to look for your own. If you didn't
look you would accept it as absolute. And a part of you
and your society taught you not to look before puberty.
Audience:
The objective overall is to get joy, your Soul seeks joy?
Or at least the
lack of un-creativeness
Audience:
The body is kind of a vehicle for achieving that. The
body seems to be clouded by fears or other distortions.
Yes.
Audience:
By removing these distortions somehow you can
achieve greater joy.
Yes.
Audience:
Did you say that society keeps us from looking?
It actually
convinces you that you can't. In order to place a
cohesiveness there are many things that seek to control
those that would not control themself. If you are willing
to control yourself, then you are never controlled from
some external source. But all of you at some point in
your life when someone in the form of authority felt it
was necessary to control you, to change you, to force you
into a pathway of acceptability from their viewpoint.
That directness
wasn't necessarily appropriate. It would have been
appropriate if it it had been done at before the
pituitary change, but after is your exploration place.
That is where you form an identity of self, where you
know yourself to be different from every other person.
This is pituitary point.
Audience:
What are you saying about controlling the child
who won't control itself before and after the age of
five?
That you teach
the child during this stage appropriate control of self.
One of the ways is to encourage the child's success
element of its own choice. What that means is each time
you see the child doing something that is both
exploratory for itself and in cooperation with the whole
of things, you will make a large thing out of it. And
each time you see the child aimed at a potential flaw
somewhere in the future, you help the child to experience
that flaw now as a sense of itself, where the failure
point is small enough and you don't judge the failure
point as anything more than exploration.
The other part is
if you don't know, then all you can do is refrain from
trying to bend the child into something you can
understand.
Audience:
So by age five we're programed and prevented from
identifying our own true identity?
Yes. You were
indoctrinated, you might call it, to three dimensional,
five senses, societal projections of what reality is.
Audience:
So is this crossover place where some part of
our exploration gets shut down? And our emotions get shut
down as well?
It isn't so much
that your emotions get shut down, but you learn to fear
the outcome of your emotions.
Audience:
I have a six year old niece. She seems very hesitant,
like she doesn't want to make a mistake.
Yes. The child is
making an inappropriate comparison of itself to an adult.
A very good way to change that behavior is to
deliberately make some mistakes. Don't deliberately do it
right to show her how. Do it somewhat less than right, so
that she has the ability to recognize that mistakes are a
natural part of learning, that appropriate behavior is
what is more important participation for the purpose and
intention. And that the only thing that you as human
beings can do is have a relative prediction of the
outcome of your actions. Cause and effect is not
absolute. Particularly someone else's cause and someone
else's effect isn't absolute for your life. If it is you
aren't living your life, you are living someone else's.
Audience:
Is there any way of making an interuption between one and
five?
Yes. If it is
interupted you bring with you little pieces of the past.
Little pieces of other times that you have lived, not
whole lives, just little coping mechanisms. The Soul
looks upon it and says in the swirling mist of energies
that will be representative of this particular body's
awareness point, these things may be necessary as tools.
These creations might be necessary.
So it builds them
into you as an artificial form that stays simply there,
almost a genetic remembrance for your body. Should this
get interupted, that takes over, what ever it is. It is
very valid.
Audience:
What about people who have experienced
emotionally violent behavior and lack of nurturing from
parents?
They have used
some skills in ***here*** to be able to cope with it and
they carry into ***this point*** that this is normal
behavior.
Audience:
And will they pass that on?
They will if
something doesn't come along and teach them a different
normal behavior.
Audience:
That seems difficult.
What isn't
difficult is to change the behavior. What is difficult is
to change the driving force of the frustration and rage
that was also learned along with it. The emotion that
goes with it is that frustration and rage for some
absolute that can't be achieved. So that is carried, and
until that is dealt with in some way, that person may not
be able to function without that rage coming loose.
Audience:
Is a person who is treated unpredictably act
unpredictably as well?
Yes, and more
importantly, that is a strength.
Audience:
Why?
If you as someone
that might be beat upon, if you act in a significantly
predictable manner and it always results in you getting
beat upon, then it is a very bad idea to be predictable.
If instead, you learn how to dodge to the right instead
of the left as that unpredictable it becomes a survival
tactic.
Audience:
But as you go further along, it won't be
beneficial to you to continue dodging...
It can be. The
same skill can be turned into creative thinking, where
you aren't forced into absolute answers, you have the
ability to grasp a large amount of information and
asimilate it into some connective linkage, that others
may not see. That is a skill, is it not?
Audience:
In a close relationship it could be confusing to the
other predictable type person.
Or, it could be
very passionate to them, if you have the right kind of
unpredictableness. What would happen if you never touched
your lover twice in the same way? That might be a very
nice unpredictableness. What would happen if you were
constantly exploring different ways of doing things? Not
searching for the best one, but for excitement in
everything you do? Wouldn't that add to your
relationship?
If it were used
in that way, then it could be helpful. But to get to the
place where you could use what you learned in that way,
you must first get to the place that says all right, in
that environment it was normal that unpredictability
turned to violence. In this environment it is normal that
unpredictable turns to discovery.
The only thing
your frustration says is stop doing it that way, doing it
any other way but that way might be a pathway out of
that. What you might say is you are ending up with a
person like that where what is happening is that they are
actually predictable in their own unpredictability. They
are predictable retreating whenever they preceive their
is a challenge. So changing it. We haven't gotten to that
part yet.
*****These two
stages are not at all within your control. They are
within your exploration in ***this area***. But then a
very funny thing happens to you. There is another
crossing over*****. This crossing over takes ***this***
emotion that you had here and integrates it here***at a
very unconscious level in exactly the pattern it is. It
is not reversed anymore.
Here it seems
real...the rage you felt from outside of you ***here,
brought into you, lives ***here as part of you and you
don't know the difference. But everything that you
learned ***here*** in terms of physical realities and
emotional realities gets flipped ***here***. Your entire
sense of identity of self ***here*** gets flipped over
when you reach puberty.
You have a group
of chemicals raging throughout your physical body. Part
of them are used for thought processes for your physical
body. Synaptic responses between the dendrite pairs and
the axions within your physical brain, simply that. It
charges them up,!
it discharges
them and it makes connective linkages in ways that are
very hard for you to even grasp let alone imagine. They
are very complex linkages and there is nothing you can
do.
For females,
there is one set of chemicals that takes you through the
first part of the month with the thought of
"I", as a separate individual from everyone
else around you. Then sometime approximately the middle
of your cycle, it starts being a little more
"we". When you get near the end of your cycle,
you have this almost over powering feeling that
everything is a "we" and you can't understand
why someone else doesn't see it that way.
Then another
chemical comes along, surges through your body, purges
out eggs that don't belong, sloughs off cells that you no
longer wish to have, and gets you ready for the next
month. When that happens you go back to the "I"
almost overnight. That "I" thought coming at
you that quickly, seems almost as if you are alone. And
what do you do?
You accuse the
close persons to you that they have abondoned you or
deserted you and they have been doing exactly what they
always were doing. Emotions caused by your physical body,
triggered by your physical body.
The next part is
that males don't escape this either. It is a little
different for you. You have a little period during the
time that is a "we" time, but you also have
this "we" feeling when you lose yourself into
the physical sexual activities and the same chemical that
causes the "we" in the female gets generated to
your physical brain. And just after you have ejaculated
in the form of sexual intercourse, you get a little quiet
because you feel the "we" part.
You as females,
wonder why they are so quiet. They are quiet because they
are joined with you, they are quiet because they can't
see themselves as separate from you. It is just as
powerful.
Each of you, as
human beings, tries very hard to fulfill that
"we" part. You as females are driven by that
chemical to make certain that you find a mate during that
"we" part. Being alone during that period of
time seems somehow wrong for you.
You, as males,
are driven to find that we part as much as you can
possibly find it. And it only ensures the physical
continuance. It also insures another thing. It insures
that sometime during a period of your life, you will know
that you are not separate from humanity. You will know
that you are not alone. You will know that you are part
of something very much larger and that your physical
existence is not all there is. And that is a very
important part in order for you to be able to have
continuance. It gives you hope.
So you might say
that your sexual, physical activities are a way to
instill emotion hope. They also are a vacation from daily
stress. They are also a vacation from the projection that
nothing is worth having. And that is a most useful thing.
But these are
chemicals that rage up and they intensify the connections
in ***here***. What ever group, orders and dependencies
you have established for yourself *here* get intensified
at that time. It is during **this period of time** that
you form a little part of your mind that you will know as
your libido. And that is a very powerful, emotional,
driving force...your libido.
You think of it
very often as simply a sexual ordered thing. It is not.
It is a connective linkage where your dream state goes
into it and shuffles out your day's events in a way that
is cognative and cohesive to your past. It is how you
form your hunting skills and that all truly is all
conscious mind is, a hunting skill, and a defensive
skill.
Emotions do not
come from the conscious mind. They come from a very
unconscious part in **here** and most wonderously so does
conscious mind. Conscious mind comes from the same place
emotions do, just backwards.
***This part***
of you then, those little dendrites and axions that form
your physical brain have a remembrance point from all of
your past, this time around. And they have a small
remembrance point from some of your past, last time
around.
**This is
conscious thought awarenesses. ***This is unconscious
mind. **This is very unconscious mind. Very unconscious
mind deals with your physical body and with that nebulous
thing that is your Soul. Very unconscious mind is a
direct link to your libido. A direct link to your libido.
In terms of
physical organs, **this is your hippocampic region and it
is a small place within your physical brain that you
would know to be the thalomic region of your brain. That
is what **this**is physically. If you damage that, you
won't be able to remember yesterday with any degree of
importance. If you damage that, you will not have a sense
of self. In truth, if you damage that, more than likely
your physical body won't function for very long
afterwards.
It is hidden
beneath layer after layer of softer tissue, encased in
something that is extremely hard or about as hard as you
can have it, and it is placed as far away from the ground
as possible so it doesn't bump into things.
Unfortunately,
that hasn't prevented you from finding out creative ways
to bump it into things. But it is also placed up there so
that it remains in a relatively constant temperature, so
that it is fed in a controlled way, so that it is taken
care of in a controlled way and that becomes the seat of
your consciousness.
Audience:
Who designed it?
A committee. One
part of it, the dendrite pair was designed by one level
of the Christus. And another place within the Christus
level designed the axion portion, and the two of them
decided, "Oh! Isn't this nice! We fit together. One
feeds the other. The waste of the axion is food for the
dendrite, everyone is happy. So they joined.
And in that they
said, "Alright, lets find out how many kinds of
different joinings we can get." So that is what
happened. The cells of your physical body were designed
by a different entity within the Christus level. And
bringing of it all together was by committee as well.
What you might say is at another level, just above the
Christus, the creative aspect of putting it all together
happened. So you end up being what you are, in a physical
form.
But that does not
by any means limit what you are as human beings. Your
physical body is a platform of observer. It is uniquely
situated to blind you to things outside of the three
dimensional realm, so that you can explore your own
ability to create.
In exploring that
ability to create, you need a sense of separateness. That
is why it is good you have periods where you are simply
"I". If you lived in a state of "we"
all the time, as some of you believe that you should, you
would bounce around and be such a nice person that you
would never actually accomplish anything for yourself.
You would be so
giving to everyone else, trying to prove that you
justified yourself for being there, that you would forget
to take. And it is important.
Audience:
Why is it that so many of the esoteric religions have as
a philosophy this body and this mind is a contraction of
reality?
Partly because
you as three dimensional, five senses beings need to
perceive an escape route. It doesn't occur to you that
what you have is something you should never want to
escape. It doesn't occur to you that that limitation is
both a joyous participatory point for your Soul and a
connective linkage to every other thing that lives. That
doesn't occur to you easily. So the concept to give up
the ego occurs. If you give up the ego then you give up
that one mindedness that you learned way back **here**
and you give up the single mindedness that you thought
you had to use **there** and you start participating with
the group mindedness that doesn't need a particular sense
of identity to have a creative participation. That is the
thought.
Unfortunately,
what it does is has to utilize `you did it wrong' in
order to get you to give it up. Which means that you have
to throw away the ego, which is a very important part of
you as human beings, if you are going to be creative. It
is where your sense of self comes from. You have to throw
away the libido as if it is something dangerous to your
very existence. You have to throw away any sense of
participation, because that would be by all means
something you should forbid yourself. You have to leave
no tracks. The reality of it is, if you manage to exist
with leaving no tracks, you haven't allowed yourself to
be affected by life. And that means you can't have the
joy. If you have one moment of joy in your life, you have
left a track. Someone will remember that moment. If you
have one moment of participation in a joyous way in life,
you will be remembered.
What was taught
is trying to get away from that self-serving ego. The one
that says `I count', you don't and I can do whatever I
choose to you because that is the kind of animal I am.
So, it was taught. It also happens to be that for the
majority of you it isn't necessarily a bad way to teach
you so that you won't learn a different way. And it takes
you to a place where you become a master and then you
take the next step.
The next step
after being that master is not needing to know you are
the master. And the next step after that is not knowing
you are the master and not even caring whether you are or
not, but just accepting that you are what you are.
That is a very
difficult place to have because in your society what
happens? What do you know happens if you somehow say this
is what I am, I don't apologize for it, I change it when
it is appropriate for me to change, and I leave it alone
when I like it. What happens?
That is a very
dangerous person. In your society that is such a
dangerous person and would you like to know why? Not only
that you can't control that person, but every other
person who needs to have an example of how to live their
life is going to look at them and say I have to follow
you. I have to follow you.
What happens if
you come up to someone who doesn't apologize for what
they are and does not make excuses for what they are? If
they are thriving in their life and they are
participating and they are taking from every moment of
their existence the greatest joy possible, you are going
to feel a backlash of this aura of them, of the energies
as they expand outward, you are going to feel their
emotion exuded outward almost as if it is a wall. And if
you are relatively common within your society, you are
going to be swept along behind in the currents of that
one's successes.
You are going to
seek after those. You are going to try to copy that
person even though you can't. You are going to seek that
person out, call that person a master and try to learn
their secrets and they can't teach them to you because
they are their secrets and they only work for one person,
that person. They can teach you how to break yours, but
they can't teach you yours.
Audience:
Is it part of the objective of the teachings to ????
No, but I will
give you a similar thing. The purpose of the teaching is
so that you may understand what holds you back from being
the master that you are, only that. So that you may see
that there are some very good and proper reasons why it
happens in your society and why you are held by it. And
so that you may see some very appropriate ways to escape
if you choose to escape. To develope a sense of you that
is you, that does not apologize.
end tape 1 side 1
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